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Plus One
My boyfriend has an old friend coming into town for a wedding in a few weeks. It’s her cousin’s wedding, neither my boyfriend nor I know the couple getting married. And I have also never met this old friend. I’ve heard of her and know that they have always been close and also always been strictly platonic. So. The thing is, this friend apparently just broke up with her boyfriend and is depressed about being dateless for her cousin’s wedding, and she asked my boyfriend if he would go with her. Apparently he is the only guy friend she has in L.A. (where we live and the wedding is). He wants to go, he thinks it would be a nice thing to do for her. But I feel like going to a wedding with someone is really firmly a date and going on a date with someone other than your girlfriend is not okay. I think this girl is being totally pathetic and inappropriate… and besides, aren’t weddings supposed to be a great place to meet guys? What does she want my boyfriend there for anyway?! My boyfriend says I’m being selfish and overreacting. Is he right? Or am I right and his old friend is crazy and inappropriate?! -Nadia, 29.
Filed under: boyfriends, Friends, wedding | 7 Comments
Tags: boyfriend, dating, Friends, weddings
Boyfriend with baggage
So, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about eight months. Right from the start, he was very honest and open about the fact that he was recently separated, and going through a divorce. Several months after we started dating, I had the pleasure of meeting his two daughters. I’ve been lucky enough to become super close with them, and they are AWESOME kids. I’ve also had the distinct pleasure of not meeting his soon-to-be ex. I told my boyfriend (after I met his kids), that while I knew she was a little crazy (no, I’m not your typical new girlfriend, this girl is legit crazy), I would be happy to meet her. I can respect the fact that she has a right to know someone her kids are spending so much time with. The boyfriend vetoed, saying that it was too soon, and he didn’t trust what she would do. Time went by, and crazy things started happening. She came to the house to get some things she left, and stole my things from the bathroom! I mean, who’s crazy enough to steal a travel sized
deodorant?! But, I decided to rise above the situation and not confront her about it. A few months later, she came to our home, and demanded to meet me. Not asked, demanded. The boyfriend said no, due to the fact that she is insane, and he watched her key my poor, defenseless car on the way out. Long story short, we called the cops, and now the ex has a court date. We’ve tried long and hard to keep all of these things from the kids. They have enough going on with the divorce, and just don’t need to be dragged into the middle. His ex, however, does not seem to share the same opinion. Not only does she talk shit about us on a regular basis, she is also entirely incapable of keeping her emotions to herself, so the girls hear eeevvvvverything. That being said, I got a text from the older daughter tonight, asking me why I wouldn’t drop the court case against her mother. Now, I know the woman is emotional and upset, but I DO have a right to be mad about this, right? SO FRUSTRATING!
Filed under: boyfriends, Family | 6 Comments
Tags: boyfriend, crazy, divorce, exwife, kids
The writing on the wall
Ok. So this might seem sort of minor, but it’s REALLY pissing me off. This girl my boyfriend used to date is always writing stupid little things on his facebook wall and commenting on his status and pictures. I’ve tried to accept that they’re friends and not care but yesterday was the last straw. She wrote “Love you!” on his facebook wall. Nothing else. Just those two stupid inappropriate words. I mean seriously? I feel like this is so disrespectful and I’m so annoyed and kind of disgusted with her, but more I’m disgusted with my boyfriend who refuses to delete it! He said it would be rude and hurt her feelings. I say good, it should hurt her feelings and teach her not to tell my boyfriend she loves him. Right?! -Allie, 27.
Filed under: boyfriends | 2 Comments
Tags: boyfriend, exgirlfriend, facebook
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I just proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes! I can’t wait to marry her and have kids with her… But I am also a little disappointed. I thought with marriage came her taking my last name.. Then having kids and them taking my last name. Then we all have the same last name – like a big family! But she has another idea. She wants to keep her last name and she wants our kids to have both of our last names. I know this sounds old-fashioned and I am totally into women and their rights but I really wanted my kids to carry on my name. It’s frustrating. She wants all the other old-fashioned stuff: asking her father first, a big ring, a big elaborate proposal, a big white dress, her dad to walk her down the aisle and a big wedding. I feel like I am going through all these traditions when I’d be just as happy to elope and she wont take my last name (the only tradition I care about!). Also, I promise you it’s a nice, decent last name, I’d say better than hers. Am I being too old-fashioned or is it fair I am upset? Greg, 28
Filed under: babies, boyfriends, Family, Husbands, wedding | 4 Comments
Tags: elope, last name, marriage, propose
All in the family.
My older sister recently came to visit me. While she was in town my roommate’s and I threw a party. The party got really big and it was impossible to keep track of who was where, but it seemed like everyone was having a good time so I didn’t worry about it. At some point I got too hot in what I was wearing and went into my room to change, and to my surprise and disgust I found my sister in bed with a guy from the party. I quickly left the room leaving them to finish whatever they needed to finish. Afterwards my sister was really casual about it, and even seemed to think the whole situation was funny. I don’t care who she wants to hook up with but I think the fact that she did it mid-party in MY BED is totally gross and disrespectful and not even a little bit funny. She doesn’t see what the big deal is, but I swear if the situation were reversed she would be as pissed off and grossed out as I am. Wouldn’t you be?! Jess, 23.
Filed under: Family, Hooking up | 1 Comment
Tags: party, privacy, random hook up, sex, sisters
The Very Long Non-Engagement
My boyfriend and I have been together for six years and have lived together for four. We have a really great relationship and I’m really happy with him… but lately it has started to bother me that we’re not engaged. We’ve talked about marriage, and both assume we will eventually get married but he continues to say that there’s no real point in doing it yet. He wants to wait until we’re a little more financially stable and closer to having kids. But he’s been saying this for four years now. It never used to bother me but now I feel like we ARE more financially stable and we ARE closer to wanting kids (or at least I am), and he’s still putting me off. It’s not like I think he’s going to leave me or isn’t committed but I’m starting to think that he would just as happily stay unmarried forever, and that is starting to make me mad. So, what do you think? Is this worth being mad about? Or should I just be patient? -Kelly, 28.
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Tags: babies, boyfriend, not engaged, weddings
His good news is her bad news…
I’ve been dating this guy for a couple of months. Nothing too serious yet, but we’ve been spending more and more time together and lately it has been feeling like it could be something real. But the other night he gave me reason to believe we are not on the same page about this… the other day he told me he was going out to San Fran for a few days (we live in Chicago). When I asked him why he told me he had gotten a job interview and proceeded to tell me how excited he was about it and how he thinks he has a good shot at it. Never once acknowledging the fact that this might upset me. I know we’re not in a position where he would consult me about his life decisions or not take a job because of me… but I do think that I deserve a little more consideration and tact! Like he could have at least delivered the news in a way that felt like he was letting me know because I deserve to know instead of just going off about how great it would be as if there was nothing and nobody in Chicago that he would possibly miss. Seriously. I feel like he was totally inconsiderate and am pissed at him. This is just basic manners… right? Cassie, 27.
Filed under: dating, Uncategorized | 2 Comments
Tags: dating, long distance, moving, new job
I am a nurse. I work long 12-hour shifts everyday, during which I am on my feet. My job is exhausting and it’s really important for me to get a good night’s sleep. My boyfriend on other hand is not so concerned with sleep. He has a job, but it’s the kind where you sit at a desk and play on facebook all day, and have lots of energy to go out late on work nights. I don’t mind him going out late with his friends but I don’t sleep well when I am waiting for him to come home all night. Lately he has been getting home around 2:00 a.m., drunk and loud. He always wakes me up when he comes in, and I have a hard time falling back to sleep. Then I wake up at 6 am to go to work and his drunk ass is still fast asleep while I am exhausted. Last night I had enough of the sleepless nights and the drunken boyfriend so before I went to bed I made him a lovely little bed out of our couch, with blankets and pillows and even put a glass of water out with some Tylenol. I left a note on the bedroom door that said, “Honey, I’m exhausted and really need a good night’s sleep. This door is locked. I love you” Well. He hated my note and the sweet bed I made him and when he got home he pounded on the door ferociously and was super angry. Telling me he pays for rent in our apartment too, it’s his bed too, he needs to sleep in his bed etc. Why is he the angry one? I’m furious about this selfish behavior! -Robyn 30
Filed under: boyfriends, roommates | 2 Comments
Tags: apartment, boyfriend, drinking, loud, nurse
